If you read my last blog, from snow to sand, I gave you a glimpse into just how awesome my previous cars were…That’s not true at all.  Pretty much all of them have been a step above the Flinstones family ride. I’ve had two cars that I would call nice. Including the Equinox, I’m driving now. Don’t send me an email. I’m very aware of the fact that, in the South, you will drive by at least 20 trucks a day that have a sticker on the back with a little guy relieving himself on a Chevy symbol, with a cheesy grin and telling me I’m number one at the same time (at least that’s what I’m choosing to believe).

Recently, I was having problems with my car. When I took it to get looked at I found out it was a recall issue. Woo hoo! There are a couple of things to look forward to on recall issues.

1. Free! I didn’t have to pay a penny for what would have otherwise cost me over 2500.00
2. New car loaner! I was possibly more excited about this than I was the fact they were fixing my car for free. Since it was a recall that was going to take 3 or 4 days to fix, they put me in a brand new car.

As I was filling out the paperwork, I was dropping some major hints as to what was going to make me a happy customer. Put me in an escalade, Camero, Corvette or something like that. I wasn’t really expecting something that nice, but I was kinda shooting for the impossible hoping to hit really high. Kinda like car salesmen do every day. Ask 45,000 for a car but just hope they get 40’ish. So the tension builds, we head outside for the first look. I pass an Escalade…nope not that one. A Tahoe, and a Silverado. We walk right passed all three and she hands me the key to a flippin Chevy Equinox.

Are you kidding me? All the cars on this car lot and I get the same exact thing I drove up here in. I didn’t really need an Escalade, I just wanted something different, something new. A different experience.  It’s not that I don’t like my car, it’s just that I had the expectation of driving off the lot in something different.

As depressing as that was to me, it got me to thinking. I wonder how many non-Christians have that same experience with Christians. Whether it be when they come to church for the first time, or they meet someone at work, school or just while they are out and about. They have the thought that maybe it’ll be different this time. Maybe I won’t get treated the same as every other time, but before too long the same ol’ Equinox pops out from around the corner. Now there is the feeling of disappointment, friendship fractured, trust broken or many other effects that I’ve seen take place. Because they were expecting something different but ended up with the same experience.

I don’t think all Christians do it on purpose, but I do think there are many things that we do that are completely unfair and sabotage our efforts at reaching people for Christ. I believe if we could do just a few things differently, it would completely shock those who aren’t Christians because it would be the different experience they were looking for. Which just so happens to be the same way you see Jesus interact with people. Here’s my list of the top 3 things we could do differently to improve our relationships with non-Christians.

      1. Stop expecting non-Christians to act like Christians

This is probably one of the most confusing and frustrating things I see happen. Why do we expect people who haven’t given their life to Jesus, who haven’t said they want to follow Jesus, who don’t really care what God thinks about them to act like someone who does? Then, when they don’t conform to the “rules”, we get mad at them. To me, that’s like walking up to a horse and telling it to moo. When it doesn’t moo, you list off all the reasons why it should moo and tell it how neighing is sending our country to hell in a handbasket! Ok, maybe that’s a bit exaggerated but you get my point. A recent example of this was the Starbucks red cup catastrophe. I don’t believe they were trying to get rid of Christmas, Jesus or anything else like that, but let’s say they were. Starbucks never claimed to be a Christian company, so how can we get mad about them not conforming to Christian beliefs?

That’s not what you see Jesus expect of people. Matthew, a tax collector, had one of the most despicable jobs you have in that day.  When Jesus invited Matthew to follow Him (Matthew 9:9), Matthew was sitting at the tax collector’s booth. You could say, he was in the middle of sinning when Jesus approached him. Jesus didn’t give him a list of things to do before Matthew could follow Him. He didn’t tell Matthew to clean up his act. He met Matthew where he was and how he was without mentioning one word of his behavior. You see the same type of thing over and over again. If we can change our interactions with non-Christians from expecting them to act like Christians to understanding, from what we read in the Bible, life change only happens after people meet Jesus. Then we would look less like angry people concerned about the rules and more like loving people concerned about other people.

      2. Serve their needs, not your agenda

Yes, their greatest need is Jesus. I get that. You get that. They don’t. They think we’re approaching them with an agenda in the first place. So when they are telling us they are hurting because they lost a loved one or they’re struggling financially and our first response is, “well, you really need Jesus.” As true as that is, it doesn’t make sense to someone who’s not a Christian and paints a picture that you really don’t care what they’re going through. Let me set it up like this…

When I first took my Equinox to get fixed, I wasn’t certain is was going to be free or if they were going to give me a loaner for a few days. So you could imagine my frustration as I went to find answers to those two problems and I was met with a list of other “issues” my car “needed” in order to run. I could tell the guy had no interest at all in listening to what I had to say, or helping me with what my problem was. He clearly had an agenda and was trying to drive up the cost. He immediately lost credibility with me. There was no way I was going to trust his opinion of what needed fixing if he wasn’t willing to address what I was struggling with.

One of many examples of Jesus doing this was when He raised a widow’s son from the dead (Luke 7:11-15). This tells us very clearly that His heart went out to her and to show His love for her Jesus addressed her immediate need.  To earn the right to speak into someone’s life, you have to show that you care about their life. By meeting their physical needs, they’ll know you care enough about them to hear what you have to say about their spiritual need.

      3. Go to them, do not just invite them into your world

I love Chinese food. A lot! I really love take-out Chinese food.  Since living in Southeast Georgia, we’ve only had take-out once. And it was no good. There’s something about ordering the food, having to go pick it up and then bringing it back home that makes it not taste as good. But when Tamara and I visit New York, do you know what we’re going to have a lot of! Take-out Chinese food! For two reasons. 1. Because it’s incredible! And 2. Because they bring it to you. It doesn’t matter where you are, you can find a place that will bring it right to your door. That really is, the main reason we haven’t ordered it here. Because they won’t bring it to me. Well, they will if you spend enough money. But maybe I just want some crab ragoon and General Tso’s chicken. I should be able to get some brought to me. Don’t judge me, it’s good stuff!

For most people, it’s not in our DNA to explore into unknown territory. We like to stay where it’s nice and comfortable. We want to remain in a place where we maintain as much control as possible.  This desire for comfort and control spills over into our relationships. I believe many people do have a desire to tell others about Jesus and want to build a relationship with people who are not Christians, but because we are not willing to step outside of our comfort zones, what we communicate is, “We can be friends as long as it’s on my terms and you come to me.”

Come to my church. Come to my house. Come to my Bible study. Come to my small group. Many people do a great j0b of inviting others into their own lives, but what about meeting someone who’s not a Christian where they are instead of expecting them to always come to you. Perhaps instead of inviting them to a Bible study, invite them out for coffee or lunch. Maybe you go to their house to watch the game instead of bringing them to your small group. I don’t think there is anything wrong with inviting them to your small group or your church, I think that’s a good thing, but we also have to show a willingness to go to them.  “But Aaron, there’s alcohol at their house!” Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure you can’t get drunk just by being in the same vicinity. “What will my friends say?” Great question. What did they say about Jesus? I seem to remember the Pharisees calling Jesus a drunk, glutton, liar and a cheat. That’s because of who He surrounded himself with. Jesus consistently broke down the walls of social normality in order to walk with people in their world. Isn’t that where Jesus met us? Didn’t he come to our world in order to reach us? Didn’t he come to a place that wasn’t fit for a king simply to have and to build a relationship with us? WE often forget that. Jesus came to us. I hear people say all the time, “I found God”. No you didn’t. He was never lost. You were lost. I was lost. He found us. He came to us. He purused us.  Shouldn’t we do the same?

Know your limits. If you’re a recovering alcoholic, stay away from the bar. Guys, stay away from the local strip clubs. Ladies, you don’t have to go watch 50 shades of grey to build a relationship.  Use your head, but we have to stop waiting for people to come to us. It’s time to do what the Great Commission says, “Go”.

We exist to reach people far from God. To teach them the love of Christ. To teach the love of Christ, we need to reflect the love of Christ. It’s love that changes lives. It’s love that saves souls. It’s love that wins.